It's the last week. I didn't think it mattered.

Enjoy your time in the employment exchange!

I fell over on the ice and got concussed

That's the third time this month. It's not even icy at the moment. I think the Guiness Book of Records should be notified about this guy!

I'm sorry I was late, I was sitting with my Gran waiting for her carer

18 months and he's never once got to class on time. Why bother with excuses now?

My train went the wrong way

Wasn't your train then was it?

It seemed pointless to just come in for one day

Yes, well, you should have been in for more anyway!

College is closed due to the snow

Fair point - you've got me there!

A conversation between two students in the lift this morning:

There was a lot of snow overnight, therefore students were sparse in college. Two of them however braved the weather and gave me a great jolly along in the lift:

Student 1: "I'm the only one in today"
Student 2: "Yes, so am I"

What logic, and, oh! I must have been invisible!!