I fell down the bus steps and it took me ages to limp in

This is a beauty from this morning. He assured me that he has a huge bruise on his backside, and asked if I wanted to see it as proof! Genius!! I declined. His limp is a little intermittent, but he's kept it up for over an hour now :o)

Got sooo drunk last night, I was still wasted this morning!!

At least he's over eighteen!!

I was painting my room until 4:30 this morning

The paint was on the hands to prove it...

Why haven't I got my EMA?

An eligable student can claim Educational Maintenance Allowance if they attend all classes and adhere to deadlines. This student's attendance rates at less than 50% and he hasn't handed in any of his work. I despair!!

I didn't want to come in

Honest!

Sorry I just got up because I have a cold from falling into Leeds and Liverpool canal yesterday, so I'm not going to be in today

This one's hot off the press! The probability of this actually being true is quite high, as this student is, well, shall we say 'a strong candidate for such an occurance'! The fact that all classes have been cancelled today due to the extreme weather seems to have passed him by. Maybe he should show up to college a little more regularly and then he may have known!!!

I didn't know what date we were back after Christmas...

...so you didn't bother trying to find out?

It was Snowing

Too many students used this one; even the ones that had a fifth of the distance to travel in that I did!